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Life's like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending. — Jim Henson
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When I was growing up, my mother gave me two pieces of advice that I completely adhered to and will offer to any young person with career aspirations: 1) Get a 4-year college degree; and 2) Don't start a family until you've attained your college degree. I took a roundabout route to the college degree thing (the 5-year plan!), but I did get one. From USC, no less. No matter what else happened in my life, no one could take it away from me. That framed document (ok it's actually unframed and currently residing in a box somewhere) represented the assurance that I'd always be able to support myself financially, as well as opening many doors for me career-wise. More than that, it afforded me the understanding of references to Oedipus and The Odyssey at parties (not that they've ever been the subject of conversation at any party I've ever been to, but just in case, I'll be ready!). In short, that degree represented the belief that I was smart. And I can't imagine how I would have attained it in addition to caring for babies, or even a husband, at that time in my life. Thanks, mom!
But what college? What major? How to handle it financially? These are the questions tormenting both of my kids at this moment in their lives. I so want to play puppeteer-mom and make every decision for them. But of course, I can't, and wouldn't. All I can do, really, is keep convincing them of their unique brilliance, offer a few well-intentioned suggestions, and remind them of a deadline or two. From my own experience, and I'm not gonna sugar-coat this, the decisions you make at this stage in your life are crucial. But no pressure or anything! Ha.
I know it sounds corny, but my ultimate wish for my children is that they go in the direction their hearts take them. Both are creative, artistic types — and I know what you're thinking: How in the world will they will make decent livings at careers in the arts? My answer? You don't know my kids. I hope I've encouraged them enough over the years to have total confidence in their own talents — completely off-the-charts in both cases. As one of my favorite 80s singers proclaims, "You can't get what you want if you don't know what you want." And of course, you can't know what you want if you don't really know who you are or in what areas you excel.
So why not base an entire career on the area in which you exhibit the most geek-like enthusiasm? Maybe because many of us insist on listening to those "but you're not ..." voices in our heads. And then we become accountants or administrative assistants. (Not that there's anything wrong with these!)
An example from my own life: Growing up, I was well aware of my own talents, but had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I take that back. I actually did. Don't laugh, but back then I wanted to work for the TV show Sesame Street. My brother and I were fanatics for that show. We owned and operated our own muppet-puppets and proudly performed shows at family gatherings featuring big headed Ernie, Bert, and Grover bobbing to "Rubber Duckie" and "Manamana." We watched that show religiously, even as teenagers, and came to understand its humor and brilliance on a purely adult level. What I'm trying to say here is that in the back of my mind I KNEW I'd fit well into that creative, behind-the-scenes world. But it was such a crazy idea ... so unattainable that I dismissed it at an early age and that was that. I have since had great career opportunities, including working at the White House (which I gave up for a guy, but that's another story!), but I often wonder where I'd be today if I made the PBS show (and its subsequent spin-offs The Muppet Show, The Muppet Movie, et al.) my be-all-end-all focus from early on. To this day I believe that a career as a muppeteer may have been my true calling.
So here's my tried and true advice to career-minded young people: Go with your heart — but go 100 percent. Search out schools and scholarships and talk to people in fields that interest you. (People love to talk about themselves, especially their successes, and will be honored you contacted them!) Set one big goal and also little adaptable ones to help you get there. You are young and you have some time — a year or three in the whole scheme of things really won't matter — but start NOW. Treat it like the biggest research project ever. It IS your life, after all. Oh, and by the way, just being young is an asset, so you already have that going for you! (Old people know this, believe me!)
One more thing: You are guaranteed to make mistakes, but in hindsight, you'll be thankful you made them. What you deem as a failure or wrong turn at the time might turn out to be most helpful in defining who you are and what direction to take next. This is precisely the reason I am not waitressing today!
Still unsure about a future career? Create your own!
With love, ~k
